Thursday, October 7, 2010

guilt chomping from within

I have been sick since last week. 7days - if I must specify the number of days. It started off with a weird numbness on my chest when I was in the gym on Friday evening. Being sick was the last thing in my mind, I thought I was just out of breathe on the thread mill. The virus advanced itself on Saturday and by night time, my body felt so heavy that I just had to hit the bed early after taking some medications left over from previous doctor visits. My fever was on and off, cough getting more severe as each day passed. 

I went back to work on Monday, still hit the gym on the same evening but it was one heck of a long day for me. The evil grumpy witch within me kept lashing out at whoever was in my way, or did the slightest thing to annoy me. The heaviness made me feel like perhaps crying will relieve all the pain inside. But no... I didn't shed a tear. I invited Uncle for dinner at Buc's because I really need a time out, to have a peace of mind. On the other hand, he kept reminding me that he had a lot of work to be done, and he had a long day, yadee yadaa... but why didn't he just say so when I offered him dinner at the first place? It's okay, I managed to get my way. 

I had Black Pepper Chicken Chop served with mashed potatoes, grilled corn on cob & several pieces of green cuts. Uncle had Rack of Lamb with Black Pepper sauce. His side dishes are basically the same as mine. We had Baked Oysters as appetizer. They were finger licking good. Would've been better if the oysters didn't shrink so much during the baking process. 

Tuesday came by = deadline for my work to be completed. Body status = more sick than ever!!
I went to work still, finished off all my work by 11am and rushed to the doctors. I was attended at this "Flu Clinic" whereby the doctor looked like he couldn't care less. He gave me some cough syrup and paracetamol. I took the rest of the day off, spent them sleeping. I really slept a lot throughout all these time. 

Wednesday came, body status = still feverish!!
I surrendered, I couldn't go to work at all in the morning. My head felt as if a train ran over it. I looked for my mom and told her to "gua sa" for me. Normally one is supposed to have full good rest after it, but my mom insisted on waking me up at exactly 1hour later so that I can send her to the Immigration office, wait for her and send her back to her shop! It really annoyed the eff out of me. I went back to work in the afternoon, though my boss claimed that I looked pale, and should go home and rest. I stayed till 5pm. Went to the private clinic after work and boy, that doc sure gives miracle medications. I took them and retired before 9pm, woke up this morning feeling really good. My cough is still there, but I felt much more better compared to yesterday. 

Today came, body status = not too bad but guilt is chomping me down inside! Why?
I threw tantrums at Uncle during lunch earlier. Because I got irritated for the fact that I still have to run around grabbing lunch while being sick, and the people on the road were driving like snails! When I reached his place, I did not even bother asking about his day and etc. I guess I am really self-centered. Apparently he had a busy day at work because there was an incident. Rather than being the dotting girlfriend I should be, I gave this crap to him. I am always trying to work on this but always failed! Why?

Today received a parcel from G-market Singapore, more than half of the items in this parcel do not belong to me and some of them were intended to be gifts to my friends, so I will not be disclosing what I bought! Haha.

Hope that I will get well soon and that my remaining parcels will come to me asap! :D
**Busy weekend ahead**

(Photo credits to stella-mia (on/off) from Flickr)

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